Thursday, January 2, 2014

Faded Hope

“This is why I love Rachel Held Evans: Writing, like Faith, Means Living the Questions.

That is where I am right now, Living the Questions, letting it play out.  Believing that this road will end in immense beauty even if it’s tough right now.”

I wrote the above quote on Tuesday May 31st 2011 and posted it on my old blog.  Ironically that was my wedding anniversary.  I don’t feel like this today.  I have lost my hope that this road will end in immense beauty.  Today I want to wallow in pain.  I want to stay in bed and re-imagine the past.  I want to flesh out all the “if only”s.  The pain disappears for just a moment when I imagine myself taking a different path in life.  Some different choices … Any different road that didn't land me here in this place.


I wonder where that hope came from.

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